


Locking Horns, Locking Hearts

by SerStolas



Series: "Weapons" of the Heart [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-02-14 10:08:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13005459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerStolas/pseuds/SerStolas
Summary: During the ball at Halamshiral during Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts, Cullen is pestered by would-be suitors.  What if he'd said "yes" when a suitor asked if he was married, and what if Inquisitor Adaar overheard and decided to make Cullen's lie appear more believable?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Dragon Age belongs to Bioware

Maker, Cullen thought, could this get any worse? He was a solider and a commander, not a noble. Give him a battlefield or an enemy and he could plan half a dozen possible strategies, but he was left floundering trying to deal with the Orlesian nobles who decided he would make a good match, either to marry or even just to bed. 

Cullen wasn't in any sort of relationship right now, or anytime within recent memory. It might have been easier to fend of suitors if he had been.

He gazed a little desperately around the ballroom, trying to find any excuse to escape this particular corner and escape the crowd. Maybe if he could just make it out to the courtyard where Dorian was they could at least discuss chess or something civilized.

Just as he thought he'd made a break though, another noblewoman in an unappealing shade of yellow appeared in front of him, smiling winsomely at him beneath his mask. Oh maker why couldn't they just leave him alone?

"Commander Rutherford," the noblewoman greeted him. "Tell me, how are you enjoying our lovely ball? I notice you have not danced!"

Cullen groaned internally. "It is a beautiful ball," he tried in a diplomatic tone. "But I am afraid I do not dance well. I certainly wouldn't wish to step on such," Maker what should he say here. This woman was small...delicate, is that how Josephine would describe her, yes.."delicate feet."

"Oh you flatter me, Commander," the noblewoman fluttered. "Tell me, Commander, are you married?"

Cullen was usually a very truthful man, straightforward and to the point, but tonight, he merely wanted to escape this attention.  
"Yes!" he said suddenly. "I am sorry, my lady, but I am married."

"Why do you not dance with your spouse, then?" the noblewoman suggested with a titter. "Surely the two of you would make an impression on the dance floor."

"My wife is, er," Cullen now found himself trapped in this lie. Did he say she was a commoner at Skyhold or-

"We prefer more private dances," a smooth, alto voice cut in, underlying amusement in the tone. Cullen's eyes flickered sideways and he found Inquisitor Rhea Adaar standing beside him, dressed in her red, gold, and blue Inquisition uniform and somehow still managing to look professional. Her pale gray skin shown closer to marble in the ballroom light. He noticed she'd changed the caps on the tips of her curved horns to match the gold in their uniforms.

"Oh more private dances," the noblewoman seemed a bit disappointed, but she didn't seem as shocked as Cullen might have imagined by the insane idea that he and the Inquisitor might be married. "But you and the Grand Duchess danced so well, Inquisitor. I certainly did not expect that."

He blinked once, realizing precisely what Adaar had implied when she'd broken into the conversation.

"Mmm, yes, most assume Vashoth are savages," Adaar replied in an amused tone. "I was raised among humans, however, so I have at least a few manners." She sketched a half bow to the noblewoman. "I do apologize, my Lady, but I do need to speak with my dear Commander."

"You certainly make a striking couple," the noblewoman said, her tone more amused than spiteful.

"Thank you for the compliment," Adaar replied, taking Cullen by the elbow and maneuvering him to a quiet alcove before he could really respond.

Cullen found himself staring up at Adaar's faintly amused blue gaze in something akin to shock. He shook his head, clearing it. "I er, thank you for the rescue, Inquisitor, though I do not know if it will cause more problems than it has solved." He sighed. "I was going to tell her my wife was at Skyhold."

Adaar snorted lightly. "You were the one who lied your way into the corner, my dear Commander." Her voice was friendly though. "But do you really think your 'wife' being at Skyhold would keep that woman from trying to get into your bed? You're a handsome man, Commander, and many have their eye on you for more than just marriage. But your 'wife' being here will give her and others pause. Sure she will spread a rumor you are married and your wife is here, but she will likely conveniently not mention who your 'wife' supposedly is. We will hopefully only be here a few more days, then hopefully it will all die down. She is just one noble, how much trouble can she really cause?"

He glared at Adaar for a moment then rubbed his forehead. "Well the damage is already done now. Why did you step in anyway? Deciding it best to switch topics and hoping he would soon forget all of this foolishness he asked, "Have you learned anything of use?"

"Because you're a friend, Cullen, and friend's help each other," Adaar replied, then her tone turned grim. " Someone is killing elves in the servants quarter. I intend to slip off when the chance presents itself and take a look."

"Just be careful," Cullen told her, a little mollified by her comment about friendship. "The Inquisition needs its Inquisitor in one piece."

Adaar gave him a nod and touched his shoulder lightly before she vanished into the crowd of nobles again. He knew the Qunari...Vashoth, mage was always careful, but sometimes it seemed a good idea to remind her. She'd gone charging headlong into a dragon more than once since falling out of the sky.

Much later, when the Duchess had been exposed, a fragile peace had been made between Gaspard and Celene and Briala, Cullen found himself wandering through the palace again, wondering where Adaar had gone. Her execution of exposing the Grand Duchess and forging peace had been spectacular, but he knew how these sorts of social things could wear on her from occasional complaints during their chess games.

"Cassandra, have you see Adaar?" he asked as he came upon the Seeker discussing military strategy with an older gentleman.

Cassandra frowned faintly and shook her head. "Not since she finished speaking with the Empress. Where could she have gone off too?"

The older masked gentleman, not of Orlais from his accent, coughed lightly and said, "I believe Inquisitor Adaar may have sought to escape some of this madness and may be out on one of the balconies."

"My thanks," Cullen told him before turning to go and find Adaar.

He finally found her on a far balcony, leaning heavily against the railing. As he approached her he saw a beautiful, dark haired woman pass, one who seemed vaguely familiar, but he put it from his mind for now.

"There you are, I wonder how you'd managed to escape all of the nobles," Cullen remarked as he stepped up to stand beside her.

Adaar blinked, apparently coming back to herself and glanced at him with tired blue eyes. Her normally bun of red hair had come loose and strands were sliding down the back of her pale gray neck. It would be oddly alluring, he thought idly, if one were attracted to Qunar-Vashoth. She'd told him many times she was not Qunari because she'd never been one of the Qun.

"Oh, hello Cullen," she said, letting out a sigh and turning her gaze back to the night sky.

Cullen frowned at the weariness in her tone. "Are you alright?"

"It's just been a very long night," she replied, rolling her shoulders. "I shall be glad to return to Skyhold."

"You know I didn't think anyone could make peace between those three, but you did," Cullen remarked as he lenaed on the balcony with her. "You do rather extraordinary work, Inquisitor."

"Rhea, please, or Adaar," she told him softly. "I'd like to think we are friends, aren't we, Cullen?"

He had to smile at that. "Yes, Adaar, we are."

She gave him a tired smile and nodded. "Good."

They continued to stand there together, staring into the sky as they reflected on the night, and Cullen found he hoped she was right. Now that this mess was gone, hopefully they could go back to Skyhold, for while the Civil War in Orlais was over, there was still much work left to be done.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adaar and Cullen discover that their charade has gone a bit further than either of them expected, and the Inquisition may have to deal with the consequences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age belongs to Bioware

Adaar leaned back in the comfortably padded chair as she regarded the mid-day meal spread offered to the Inquisition members by the Winter Palace. There was a variety of meat and fish, various pastries and bread, and several types of fruit. She supposed being a guest of the Imperial Court had its advantages. As a mercenary, her average midday meal was usually a bit of meat, usually dried, some form of travel bread, and cheese.

She nibbled idly on a pastry as she watched other members of the Inquisition appear at the table. She could tell who had partaken a bit too much of the wine and who hadn't after their victory the evening before. Sera was clearly suffering a headache and Dorian looked mildly put out.

Iron Bull had already asked one of the servants for beer instead of wine from his seat beside Dorian, to no one's surprise. He regarded Dorian with a half sympathetic, half amused look and occasionally smirked at Adaar. As Vashoth (or Tal-Vashoth in Bull's case), they had a higher constitution than most humans, and it took a lot to get a Qunari truly drunk. Adaar herself wasn't suffering, but then she hadn't drunk much last night even after the victory, she'd been too keyed up to do so.

She and Cullen had remained on the balcony discussing inconsequential things until Josephine had sought them out and insisted on a last appearance and one final round the ballroom for Rhea before they retired, well into the early hours of the morning. She had bid Cullen a pleasant evening and gone about her duty, not thinking much more of their charade from earlier that evening, though she did notice fewer nobles seemed to be pestering Cullen now, so it appeared to have worked at least.

She hadn't seen the Commander emerge yet, though she suspected either he was taking the rare chance to sleep in, or he'd been up at dawn as usual to go and train. Except during their chess matches and the rare occasion he came to Herald's Rest to drink, the man barely relaxed. 

She was on her second pastry by the time the Commander finally made it to the table, without his armor for once, in finally tailored pants and shirt that Adaar had a feeling Josephine had insisted on.

"Good morning Cullen," she said pleasantly as she took a sip of her wine.

"Adaar," he replied, honoring her request from the previous evening.

Varric glanced up idly from the letters he'd been reading and lifted a brow. Cassandra didn't seem phased, but then she called Adaar by her name frequently since the two women had become friends over the past several months.

Cullen regarded the available food and sighed, taking sausage and a few biscuits, clearly offput by the fanciness of some of the fish and liver offered.

"I know, never anything I'd eat to break my fast," Adaar told him as she poured him wine and passed him the glass. He eyed it for a long moment and she remembered he usually drank tea this early in the day, but he accepted the glass anyway.

"It could be worse, I suppose," Cullen replied. "Some of the food they prepared for the banquet and ball last night probably could have fed a family for a month or more." Neither he nor Adaar were fond of large displays of wealth. He buttered one roll and took a bite, glancing at the rest of their table to see who had emerged. "Pity we can't head out today."

Adaar grimanced lightly. "Aye, but Josephine says we have a few more days of business before we can return to Skyhold. I will be quite glad to see its walls again."

"So will-" Cullen began.

"Inquisitor, what have you done?" Josephine's voice rang through the room as she hurried in, Leliana close at her heels. Vivienne looked up from her breakfast and lifted one delicate brow at the outburst.

Adaar gave Josephine a blank stare, wondering what her Ambassador was talking about. "Umm...I've eaten mid-day meal?"

"I mean last night. Oh why did you not discuss this with me before?" Josephine appeared mildly distressed. "And Commander, you as well!"

"What are you talking about, Josephine?" Cullen asked in an annoyed tone. 

"There are rumors that the Inquisitor and the Commander of the Inquisitions forces are married," Leliana supplied, her tone laced with amusement. She appeared to be taking it all much more calmly than Josephine.

Cullen growled softly and shot a glance at Adaar. "I told you I should have just said my wife was at Skyhold."

"You're the one who lied about having a wife in the first place," Adaar replied mildy. "I merely built on that."

Cullen sighed and rubbed his forehead, and Adaar had a feeling he had another headache building, compounded by his lyrium withdrawal. "Well it's only a rumor. Can't we just dispell the rumor, Josephine?"

"I'm afraid it is already too late for that, Cullen," Josephine replied. "Instead we must make the best of it. What were you thinking telling a noblewoman you were married?"

"Well if you didn't dangle Cullen like a worm above a fishpond to the nobles, he probably wouldn't have had so many people harassing him last night at the ball," Adaar snorted. "He was being propositioned by yet another noble while just trying to get some air. I can't blame him for trying to make an escape."

"Well over half the court believes the two of you to be married now," Leliana replied.

"What's this? Everyone things you and the Commander are married, Boss?" Bull chuckled. He clapped Cullen on the shoulder. "Didn't think you had it in you."

"I don't," Cullen replied darkly.

Varric was laughing. "This is almost like something out of one of my stories."

"Just like it," Cassandra replied, regarding Cullen and Adaar, "Though very unexpected. Should I congratulate you?"

"We aren't married," Adaar replied, rolling her eyes. 

"Well many, including the Empress, believe you are," Josephine sighed. "I have currently explained it not being common knowledge by emphasising that you and the Commander are very private people. But for the sake of the Inquisition and our standing in the Court, we need to continue this...charade."

"You aren't seriously saying Adaar and I need to pretend to be married, are you?" Cullen stared at her.

"That's exactly what she is saying," Leliana replied. "She is right, I am afraid. If it came out down you weren't, it could damage our standing with some nobility and allies." She smirked. "Many are shocked, but there are just as many who believe it secretly romantic."

"Oh Maker," Cullen groaned, glancing towards Adaar.

Adaar groaned into her hands.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Cullen and Rhea Adaar find just how much their charade has disrupted their lives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age belongs to Bioware
> 
> And thank you so much to those leaving comments and kudos. I was rather sad when i discovered Cullen couldn't be romanced by Adaar. This scenario is evidently my twisted brain's way of explaining how it could happen anyway. I hope you enjoy the hijinks to come.

To say that the Inquisition's journey back to Skyhold had been a bit awkward for Rhea Adaar and Cullen Rutherford would be putting it lightly at best. Due to their tale at the Winter Palace that they were married, news which had now swept through the Inquisition and caused quite a stir, certain behavior now seemed to be expected of them.

The Inner Circle knew the truth of course, but for the sake of the Inquisition's reputation bargaining power, and the boost in morale that it had brought to most of the Inquisition troops and civilians, Rhea and Cullen now found themselves stuck playing out something neither of them could quite believe.

It helped that they were friends, they'd told each other, it made it easier to make the lie believable to everyone outside the Inner Circle, but it didn't make them feel any less strange about it. Cullen resolutely planned to stick to Josephine's story that he and Rhea preferred to keep things professional in public and that their private lives were their own, but they both knew deep down that would be almost impossible. The first night they'd been sitting near each other by the fire and one of the healers had come up with stars in her eyes and told them how romantic it was that the Commander of the Inquisition and the Inquisitor were involved.

Rhea had wanted to throttle the woman but had refrained because the woman didn't necessarily deserve it, but why was her personal life everyone's business? Life as a mercenary, she'd confided to Bull later, was much simpler. As long as your liaison wasn't with a rival or an enemy it didn't really matter. Most of the time as a mercenary with the Valo-kas, she'd tumbled with a bartender or paid for company. While she knew that as a Templar Cullen hadn't taken any chastity vows, she'd never asked the details of his sex life. Prior to now, it really hadn't been her business, and now, well, they weren't really married or in love, no matter what the world though, so as long as he was discreet, could she really say anything?

"You're the one who went and accepted the title, Boss," Bull told her as they passed a flask back and forth of some Qunari liquor no one but them really wanted to drink. 

"Never asked for power, never asked for this thing on my hand," she groused, taking a long draw from the flask. "Something needed doing so I just did it."

"That's what separates you from the nobles who preen and try to get your favor," Iron Bull told her. "And do not forget it. Like anything else, that mark is a tool, and you use it as one. You don't let it or the opportunity, or power, it brings, go to your head." He shook his head. "As for the rest? Well, sometimes you do things to improve moral among your people. You did that with your company, you've seen me do it with the Chargers."

She knew what he was hinting at. No one but she, Bull, Dorian, and Cassandra knew that the fateful day they'd worked with the Qun that if she and Bull had made different decisions, the Chargers would have been dead. Bull had come around to dealing with the fact that he was Tal Vashoth now. Personally Rhea believed the Chargers helped with that. Neither she nor Bull had told the Chargers about their decision that day, and they never would.

Rhea kept those words in mind when Josephine had gone and rearranged tents so that Rhea and Cullen were sharing one. The first night they'd both lain silently on their side of the tent, staring up at the canvas and anywhere but each other. When both had finally fallen into an exhausted sleep, they'd somehow gravitated towards one another in their sleep, and Rhea had awoken to the press of a warm, smaller body against her own. Cullen had been so deeply asleep she hadn't had the heart to wake him up. She knew he didn't sleep well most nights, and had quickly dressed and slipped out of the tent before he awoke.

Neither of them had spoken about it.

Some nights Cullen had nightmares, worse from the lyrium withdrawal, she remembered him saying. The second night they'd shared a tent (they were just sharing sleeping space, they weren't actually sleeping together, not like that, she told herself), he'd awoken from a nightmare and slipped out of the tent before she could react.

The fourth night, when it had awoken her, she'd lain her hand on his shoulder to stop him from going. She'd handed him a water skin and wiped some of the sweat from his brow, a friendly gesture, they both told themselves. During subsequent nightmares and nights on the trek back, they'd repeated that pattern, with her nightmares and his own. Offer a drink, wipe the sweat from your partner's brow, remind them the nightmares weren't real.

It was comforting, she realized the last night before they reached Skyhold, to have someone to lean on, even if it was just a friend.

When they arrived back at Skyhold, Rhea had expected things to go back to normal though. Cullen in his tower, she in her room, though they'd agreed they'd make an effort to appear together in public a bit more often at Josephine's request. Rhea had brought dinner up to Cullen a few times when he forgot the hour, and they played chess when they got the chance. It was just a matter of making it all a little more visible.

What Rhea did not expect was to see a second wardrobe in her room as she climbed the stairs after a long day of riding, wanting little more than to fall in to bed and deal with the headaches that had developed in her absence in the morning. She stared at it blankly for a long moment, then with a sinking suspicion, crossed the room and opened it. She eyed the contents of Cullen's wardrobe for a long moment before she huffed and decided she would need to make the trek to his tower tonight whether she wanted to or not.

When she opened the door to head downstairs, though, she was met with a scowling Cullen and a smiling Josephine.

"Ahh, Inquisitor, now you and the Commander can settle in. I will speak with you both in the morning." And just like that, the Ambassador was gone.

Rhea met Cullen's scowling, golden eyed gaze and rubber her temple.

"Well, come in I guess," she said, turning and tromping over to the couch in front of the fire that someone had thankfully built up for her."

Cullen almost slammed the door behind him and stalked over. "This is madness," he told her. "Oh sure my office is still in the tower, but evidently Josephine sent ahead to have all my personal belongings moved up here. To keep up appearances, she said. Why, by the Maker, did you have to say you were my wife at the Winter Palace? Can't you see the havoc you've caused?"

"Yes I can see part of it is my fault," Rhea snapped, trying to keep a leash on her anger. "Though I'd say it's partly your fault too. If you hadn't lied to begin with about having a wife, I'd never had lied and said I was she. More blame may lay on me, but you aren't blameless in this, you thick headed..." she thrust herself off the couch and started pacing. "Arrgh!"

Cullen watched her pace as the anger slowly drained out of him. He sighed and fell onto the couch. "The mess we've gotten ourselves into.."

Rhea halted before the fire and glanced at him, "You think? The only reason anyone even believed it is because I'm the Inquisitor. If I was just the Valo-kas mercenary I should be, being Vashoth and a mage at that, no one would believe I'd be married to an ex-templar." She collapsed onto the couch beside him. "Look, I'm sorry I managed to make a bigger mess of things, but I'm not quite sure how we can get out of it." She glanced at him. "I don't think either of us has been in a relationship since we joined the Inquisition, have we? I haven't anyway."

"It isn't just your fault, you're right, I've got some blame in this too," Cullen told her, glancing sideways at her as he leaned forward, hands clasped in front of him. "I never really expected I would marry, or pretend I was married, to anyone. You...aren't precisely what I would typically look for in a bed partner."

"It's the horns and the mage thing, isn't it?" Rhea asked with mild humor. "Though I'll remind you I'm not asking to actually have sex with you. We're just sleeping in the same room, same bed I guess. I'm not really going to go looking for a bed partner anyway, not just because of this. I haven't really had time to think much of romance and all that since getting the Mark."

"It's something like that," Cullen admitted. "And we could do worse...since we are friends at least." He rubbed the back of his neck, flushing a bit at the mention of sex. "Well with the lyrium withdrawal and being Commander I'm not really looking for lovers either."

"And our supposed marriage evidently boosts moral, and the whole Inquisition's image and such...well sometimes you do certain things to improve spirits of those around you, improve image, all of that. We're already roped into this and unless we figure out a way out of it, I don't think there's any going back right now. So, shall we make the best of it?" Rhea asked, offering her hand to Cullen.

He watched her for several moments, his golden eyes flickering in the firelight, then he nodded slowly and clasped her hand. "We'll at least try and make the best of it that we can," he agreed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhea Adaar heads to Crestwood to deal with the Warden disappearance, and ends up biting off more than she can chew. Cullen scowls and worries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age belongs to Bioware.

They'd been back less than a hand span of days when Hawke informed Adaar that her Gray Warden contact was waiting for them in Crestwood. While Rhea would have preferred a few more days to try and actually rest, she knew her duty as Inquisitor and advised Dorian, Iron Bull, and Varric to pack their bags. Normally she would have taken Cassandra, but the former Seeker had found more leads on those who had betrayed her order, and the two had decided it was better to give Cassandra some time to follow up on those leads while Rhea dealt with Crestwood.

As she packed her saddle bags in the rooms she now shared with Cullen, Rhea realized that she'd been sleeping beside someone every night for the past few weeks, and some part of her was going to miss the bulk of a warm body against hers. No matter where she and Cullen fell asleep on the bed, they inevitably drifted towards each other in their sleep. 

Cullen was normally up at dawn, nightmare or not, a habit, he told her, that came from a lifetime of training. Most mornings she would feel him slip out of bed, wish her a good day, and then close the door behind her. She'd rise not long after to go about her own day's business.

Despite being drawn to each other at night when asleep, they still consciously maintained their own spaces in their shared rooms during waking hours. Part of her half suspected Cullen rose early enough to ensure he wasn't in the room when she dressed. He seemed to have certain ideas of what was proper, though Rhea herself almost militantly ignored nakedness. When you spent your life in close quarters with other mercenaries, particularly a bunch of Vashoth, you tended to grow up without that more human sense of modesty.

She shut her saddle bags and heaved them up, determinedly carrying them downstairs and to the horses herself, no matter how many times Josephine told her it was undignified. Just because there were servants and she evidently had standing with nobility as the Inquisitor didn't mean she'd forgotten or cared to exchange her determination to do certain things for herself.

"Ah good, you ready then, Boss?" Bull asked her as she entered the courtyard. 

She grunted as she carefully buckled her saddlebags onto the big Fereldan draft horse she normally rode. Master Dennet had provided more than one draft horse for her and Bull, given how often the Qunari accompanied her. "Ready to get on the road," she responded. "There are rumors of undead and other nastiness in Crestwood."

"Also rumors of a dragon," Bull rumbled, and he grinned at her when she shot a look at him. "Come on, Boss, can't tell me you don't want to go slay a dragon."

"If it's terrorizing the countryside, I will consider it," she told him. "But let's not take any unnecessary risks. We're going to Crestwood to close rifts, deal with undead, and meet with this Warden friend of Hawke's."

"I would prefer to avoid dragons, if it's all the same to you," Dorian advised them both as he settled upon his own mount.

"I think I got my fill of dragons with Hawke," Varric echoed. "No matter how good the story afterwards, it's just dangerous."

"You need more sense of adventure," Bull chuckled.

Rhea shook her head at all three of them and made sure her bags were balanced on her mount. When she glanced up she saw Cullen waiting a few meters away, regarding her rather seriously. She lifted a brow and turned towards him. The Commander had never seen her off before.

"Good luck in Crestwood, Adaar," Cullen told her as she approached him. "The reports are a bit worrying." He started to reach his hand out, and started to let it drop, before Rhea caught his hand in hers, idly running her fingers over his knuckles. "And do try and be careful, I think we'd all like you back here in one piece."

Rhea wondered if she should kiss him. She could almost feel everyone in the courtyard watching them, waiting. She and Cullen had supposedly been married a few months now, sometime after Haven and not long after coming to Skyhold. How far did they want to go to maintain their charade when he'd never seen her off before. Or perhaps he was seeing her off now since their "marriage" was now out in the open and there was no more "need for secrecy."

"I'll try," she told him with a wry smile. "You know how I seem to attract trouble."

Cullen's lips quirked upwards a bit. "So you do." Then Rhea was leaning down and brushing her lips very lightly against his own before she turned and mounted her horse.

He had to concentrate on not looking surprised, and caught her hand a moment as she turned to go, squeezing it before he let her mount her draft horse. "I'll see you when you return," Cullen told her.

"See you then, dear," Adaar replied.

He watched them ride out through the gate, ignoring the more pointed looks Cassandra was now giving him before he turned and headed back towards his office to contemplate this change in their visible "relationship."

~~~

Cullen frowned over the report that one of his soldiers had just delivered from Crestwood. It was written in Harding's quick, neat hand, advising him that the Inquisitor and her companions had found the source of the undead - a rift below the water. They'd managed to claim a new keep in Crestwood and had drained the lake, allowing them to access the underground tunnels to close the rift beneath the lake.

They'd also discovered that the Mayor of Crestwood was the one guilty of flooding the area years before, out of fear of the Blight, thus drowning townsfolk and refugees regardless of whether they exhibited signs of the Blight or not. When the Inquisitor had gone to confront him, the man was gone.

They would have to apprehend the Mayor sooner or later, but there were more pressing concerns. The Inquisitor had gone on to meet Hawke and Hawke's Warden friend, Stroud, in a hidden cave to discuss the disappearance of the Wardens. Hawke and Stroud were expected at Skyhold within the next few days, taking backroads to ensure they weren't followed since Stroud was being hunted by other Wardens.

The Inquisitor had made the decision to remain in Crestwood for another day or two to deal with some local issues and ensure all the local rifts were closed.

And, according to the report, dealing with a dragon terrorizing the countryside. It was a Northern Hunter, according to the report. Iron Bull had been very enthusiastic about hunting it down.

The encounter had turned out to be a bit more difficult than the Inquisition or her party had expected, however. There'd been some injuries all around, but Rhea Adaar, in all her stubbornness, had managed to be among the more severely injured. There'd been a camp not far from the dragon. Dorian had managed to keep her from bleeding to death after she'd taken a back claw swipe along the torso, and Iron Bull and a scout at the camp had preformed field surgery on her to stitch her back together.

Cullen realized his hands were shaking as he set the report down. What had she been thinking? The report said she'd been trying to get Varric out of the way, and ended up injured herself, more seriously than the dwarf, of course, in her heroism. 

Did she not realize how much the Inquisition needed her? She was the only one who could close the Rifts, and the one who had managed to inspire them all. Did she not realize how much he needed her?

Cullen's thoughts skittered to a halt a that thought. Why did -he- need her so much? Why did he feel fear gnawing on his stomach right now? 

She was the Inquisitor and his friend, that was why, that had to be why, he thought, shaking his head to clear it. He scowled down at the parchment. He was going to have to have words with her over recklessness when her party returned to Skyhold.

The soldier had remained standing near his desk the entire time, Cullen realized, as he muttered over the report. He glanced up sharply. "I am to be alerted immediately when the Inquisitor and her party return," he instructed, a bit more harshly than he intended.

"Yes sir!" The soldier saluted and then quickly turned and marched smartly out the door. 

Cullen eyed the report for a moment longer before he snatched it up and went to talk to Cassandra to see how often the Inquisitor pulled stunts like this out in the field that he didn't know about.

Some days later he was in the middle of drills with his soldiers when a messenger jogged up and advised him the Inquisitor had returned. He advised Rylen to continue drilling the soldiers and stalked down to the courtyard.

He was scowling by the time he reached the courtyard, but felt worry replace that scowl as his heart dropped to his stomach when he was greeted by the sight of Bull helping Rhea down from her horse. She'd stubbornly insisted on riding, of course. Before her legs could collapse under the weight of her own body, Bull caught her neatly and picked her up, striding across the courtyard and towards the main hall, and the Inquisitor's quarters.

Dorian had already vanished with Varric to get healers. Cullen followed Iron Bull and a worried Cassandra and Josephine up the stairs to the Inquisitor's rooms.

Cullen came in as Bull was settling Rhea on the bed and a healer was fussing over the Inquisitor, lightly pushing the Qunari aside and quickly stripping the Inquisitor of her clothing save for her smalls and breastband. Any other time Cullen would have averted his eyes in embarrassment to see Rhea in only her underclothing, but now he felt too much worry over the three carefully stitched gashes across her stomach and chest.

"Neatly stitched at least," the healer was saying, the woman murmuring over each wound. "Though it will scar, Inquisitor."

Cullen realized now that Rhea's body was covered in at least half a dozen scars as she rolled her shoulders. "What's one more scar?" Rhea replied with forced lightness.

"Mm, well I'm going to have to enforce at least a week's rest," the woman told Rhea seriously. "Actual rest, and not you trying to run about saving the world again. Any higher up and it could have killed you, Inquisitor."

"A lot of things have tried to kill me, Healer Tamyir, none of them have succeeded yet," Rhea replied in a flat voice.

"Yet!" Cullen cried, scowling at her now. "You told me you would be careful, Rhea!"

Rhea Adaar blinked and turned her head at her supposed husband. He must be worried to use her actual name, she thought, rather than just Adaar. "Well I was. I wasn't expecting Varric to go down. But we're all alive and there's no more dragon terrorizing Crestwood."

"It was glorious!" Bull told the room at large, grinning. He slapped Rhea lightly on the shoulder. "When you're feeling better, we'll meet in the tavern and celebrate! Until then, get some rest, Boss."

Bull then firmly herded everyone, including Josephine, Cassandra, Varric, and Dorian out of the room, leaving Rhea with the healer and Cullen.

Cullen stood with his arms across his chest, scowling at the healer finished up, gave Adaar some painkilling tea and more instructions, half to Rhea, half to him, and then left them alone.

Rhea collapsed slowly back onto the pillows, groaning softly as pain shot through her side. "Arrgh. The things the Inquisition does for the people."

"You could have been killed, Rhea," Cullen repeated the healer's words, stalking closing to bed.

Rhea opened her eyes to meet his molten whiskey gaze. "But I wasn't, Cullen. I haven't exactly lived a safe life. I was a mercenary before all this, and it is dangerous work at times. Death is just another part of life."

"The Inquisition needs you alive, Rhea," Cullen gritted out, sitting on the edge of the bed. "I need you alive."

She gave him an odd look. "Do you?" she asked softly.

Cullen flushed a bit, but he reached out and took her hand. "You are both the Inquisitor and my friend, Rhea, and for right now, my wife in everyone's eyes. Given our circumstances, do you blame me for being worried?"

She finally smiled a little. "I'll try and be a bit more careful then, next time," she told him.

He scowled again. "Next time?"

"There are dragons and giants and dangerous things all over Thedas, Cullen, not to mention what comes out of the rifts. I'm going to have to face it. But I will actively try to not get myself killed," Rhea tried to compromise.

He sighed. "I guess that's all I can ask. In the mean time, you are to rest, healers orders!"

"Read to me?" Rhea asked, her words surprising him.

He blinked and glanced around the room, finding a book containing the chant on the bedside table. "All I've got up here is the Chant of Light, and a copy of Swords and Shields. Please do not ask me to read you the latter."

Rhea smiled softly. "The chant will do."

And so he read to her until she fell asleep. Noticing when she finally nodded off, Cullen gently set the book aside and covered her up. Hesitantly, he leaned over and kissed her forehead. "Rest well, Rhea," he said, before leaving the room.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adaar heads to the Western Approach to deal with this Warden business and returns with bad news. Cullen finds himself struggling with his own emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age belongs to Bioware

The healers had barely cleared her for duty again and Adaar was already packing for her trip to the Western Approach to meet Stroud and Hawke. The Warden and rogue had left just a few days before to do some scouting and promised to meet the Inquisitor and her party there. 

Cullen recalled the number of hours that Rhea had sat up with Stroud and Hawke before the two had left, talking about the possibilities that they might find. None of the three felt comfortable with what they might be walking into, and all three were convinced that the majority of Wardens in Fereldan and Orlais were caught up in something they weren't going to like. Stroud had been angry, Hawke cynical, and Rhea resigned about the whole thing. When she'd finally come to bed the night before Stroud and Hawke left, Cullen had already been in their rooms, well past the normal hour even he went to bed.

He could almost feel the tension rolling off her, and they hadn't spoken much, but he'd had a pot of hot water on the fire waiting while he read over reports, and she'd gratefully accepted the tea, drinking it quietly before the two of them went to bed.

It was dawn now, and she was tossing the last of her clothing into her saddlebags while Cullen dressed behind the screen. They'd seen each other in their small clothes by now, but Cullen realized as he stepped out in shirt and pants, before he'd put on his armor for the day, that neither of them had seen the other nude before. It came as a stray thought, that it was something odd for a couple that was supposedly married.

He sighed as he watched her tighten a strap on her armor. "I don't have to tell you do be careful, Rhea."

"I'll try, Cullen," she replied. "I have a bad feeling about what we are walking into, but this has to be done." She glanced up at him, her express set.

"At least you have a good group at your back," Cullen said, more for his own benefit than anything else. Each time she went out now, he found he worried more than he had before they'd begun this charade. He'd always worried a bit, she was the Inquisitor and they needed her, but now it felt more...personal. He wasn't sure he wanted to explore why it felt that way.

After fastening on his own armor from it's stand, he followed her down to the courtyard where Cassandra, Dorian, and Varric waited. Cullen wasn't entirely surprised by her choice of Varric in her party. If Hawke was involved, the dwarf would want to be. Cassandra had a steady shield arm, and Rhea wanted to leave Blackwall here for now, in case whatever was affecting the other Wardens might affect him too. He was on hand to wish them luck though. Cullen knew Rhea got along with Dorian better than the other mages in her inner circle. She and Vivienne worked well together under the right circumstances, and the same with Solas, but Rhea had once confined to Cullen, in the dark of night as they lay staring at their ceiling, that she trusted Vivienne and knew what the other woman wanted, but she felt sometimes Solas knew far more than he was telling them all.

Before Rhea mounted her draft horse, she leaned down, brushing her lips chastely against Cullen's, then vaulted into the saddle with no more backwards glances.

Cullen watched them leave with Leliana, Blackwall, and Bull, hoping yet again she would return to them whole and well.

~~

When the Inquisitor and her party returned to Skyhold almost two weeks later with Stroud and Hawke, every person wore some ot the grimmest expressions that Cullen had ever seen. Almost as soon as her feet had hit the dirt after dismounting, Adaar called a war council, telling Cassandra, Stroud, and Hawke to follow her.

An all to serious Varric and Dorian were left to explain things to others while Cullen and Leliana were roused from their offices. Josephine glanced up from her desk as Rhea entered, followed by the Warden, the Champion, and the Seeker, and immediately got to her feet and followed them into the War Room. 

"They're being controlled by a Venatori," Rhea reported, her mouth curving in disgust around the word. "The warriors seem to be willing, but the mages," Cullen could see her clenching a fist. "They're being controlled like puppets. I don't know what he's done to them, but their minds were not their own."

"Whether they began following him willingly or not, they are his puppets now," Stroud added in a conflicted tone. "He makes them dance like marionettes. I do not know if it is the Taint, or the magic."

"Clariel lead them to the Ventori willingly," Hawke replied with an edge to her voice, and Cullen could tell Hawke and Stroud must have argued about this several times on the way back. "And now they're summoning a demon army at Adamant Fortress. They've gone too far."

"ENOUGH," Rhea's voice cracked like a whip. She glared at Hawke and Stroud, and Leliana pursed her lips. Cassandra looked merely gratified and Josephine a bit shocked. "I've had enough for your bickering. I don't care whose fault it is right now, I care about breaking into that fortress and stopping this madness before it goes even further."

"Adaar is correct," Cassandra added when both Stroud and Hawke looked like they might say more.

Cullen rubbed his temples, a headache building, though from withdrawal or the situation he wasn't sure right now. "Adamant Fortress has withstood hundreds of sieges. This may take all our available might."

"Then plan for it," Rhea replied in a harsh tone. "I don't care what we have to do, but get me in that fortress."

"We have siege engines," Leliana suggested. "And I have access to plans for the fortress."

"Then I'll leave it to you and Cullen to plan the siege," Rhea replied. "I need a bath and a night's rest, then to start packing again."

She strode out of the room without another word. Hawke and Stroud exchanged looks with Cassandra and then they too both quietly went their own way.

"I may follow her example," Cassandra said when she was alone with the advisors. "It was a hard ride back. We were all disbursed by what we saw the Venatori do, Adaar most of all. She spent most of the journey back in discussion with Dorian, trying to figure out how it was done, and how to ward against it, I believe."

"Hopefully they figured out something," Josephine said, concerned. 

"I hope so," Cassandra sighed before she left.

So did Cullen. The thought that someone might steal Rhea's mind from her sent a chill down his spine. He straightened, regarding the map in front of him. He had a battle to plan, he thought, and hopefully he would provide Rhea with as much protection and edge as he could in the process.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Inquisition besieges Adamant Fortress, the Inquisitor ends up in the Fade again, and Cullen gets the scare of his life.
> 
> Author's warning for angsty chapter ahead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age belongs to Bioware

Adaar regarded the massive walls of Adamant Fortress with a grim resolve. She could see the Wardens lining the walls, arming themselves and preparing to defend their keep. Deeper within the fortress, she could sense the shifting and gathering of magic she did not like. The Wardens had grown desperate, driven by the calling in their heads that the Elder One was mimicking. She could not blame them for their desperation, but she could and would blame them for the actions they decided to take in that desperation.

Blackwall stood beside her, his face as grim a mask as her own. He'd told her several times on the journey here that this seemed ot go against everything he knew about the Wardens. She'd told him to remain with her because she hoped his presence as a Warden might draw some sanity back into those following Clariel.

Cassandra preferred to guard Adaar's back herself, but she understood Rhea's reasoning for the choice. Cassandra would assist Cullen in the commanding of their forces during the siege. Most of their forces and the Inner Circle had come to Adamant, first to deal with seizing the Fortress and stopping the Wardens, then to deal with the cleanup and aftermath. Leliana, Cullen, and Josephine had all left trusted seconds in Skyhold to watch over the Inquisition's base in their absence.

The inclusion of Varric in Adaar's party hadn't been a difficult one. Stroud and Hawke were with them, and Rhea preferred Varric there where he could see Hawke rather than worrying himself into a mess by staying behind. 

Iron Bull rounded out their group. She had made Dorian several serious, quiet promises to watch over Bull, and he'd made similar promises to watch over Cullen, giving her a knowing look when he had that had caused the Vashoth to flush. Bull was absolutely deadly in close quarters combat, and she wanted someone who could cleave through masses if necessary with her.

The rest of her companions: Cole, Sera, Solas, and Vivienne were staged in various places among the Inquisition forces where they could do the most good. All were deadly in their own right, and all were needed today.

Cullen had not planned for a protracted siege, which was why Adaar and her group were ready to infiltrate the forces as soon as they could get onto the walls. As the first siege engines hit the walls, she could hear Cullen shouting orders nearby. She tugged the glove down a bit further over her left hand before gripping her staff tightly with the right, feeling the ironwood firm beneath her fingers.

She and Cullen had exchanged wishes of luck prior to the siege. She could remember the concern warring with determination in his eyes as they'd clasped arms before their tent.

"Go in there and do what you must, Rhea, and send those demons back to the void where they belong," Cullen told her in a gruff tone. "And come back to m-us alive."

"Keep our men alive, Cullen, and hold steady," she'd replied. She pulled him into a fierce embrace, one she didn't think he quite expected, before she'd turned and marched towards her party. Her own emotions were warring within her. Respect for Cullen, friendship, and something else she feared to examine too closely.

"This is your chance, go now!" Cullen yelled as the ramps hit the walls. "We are having trouble holding the walls, but we can clear a path."

"Keep our soldiers alive!" Adaar ordered him as she flung herself onto the battlements.

Thus began her slog through Adamant Fortress. She could feel the rumble of magic deep within the fortress, growing stronger with each moment, and she pushed her companions onward, through Wardens and demons. 

The demons were indiscriminate in their victims, and when she encountered Wardens fighting them, she made a choice to help those Wardens. Then, when she saw they were looking for guidance, she ordered them to fall back to the Inquisition troops. It was in those moments she realized that the Wardens here at Adamant were very much split on the actions that Clariel lead them through, and not everyone supported what she was doing.

She could use that split, she could drive a wedge into it, and she could hopefully save more people than they would have to kill that day.

When they finally reached the center of the fortress and saw the true insanity that the Venatori were leading Clariel through, Rhea didn't know whether to feel pity or outrage towards the Wardens.

Blackwall's words, she could tell, reached some of them...but there were still those under the sway of the Venatori, and the mages no longer appeared to have minds of their own. Clariel had lead the Wardens into not just blood magic, but human sacrifice, and that was something that Rhea Adaar could never forgive.

They gave chase through the fortress, fighting demons and possessed Wardens, as Clariel chased the Venatori, Erimond, intent on striking him down now that the truth had been revealed, and Clariel knew how Erimond had played on her fears, and the fears of the Wardens at large. This demon army wouldn't be to invade the Deep Roads, but to allow the Elder One to take over the world.

Adaar felt a familiar, overwhelming presence on the field, as the shadow of the Elder One's dragon fell over them, spewing fire and black energy at them and anyone in it's path. It was even less picky that the demons about it's prey, and when Erimond attempted to fling himself at the dragon to find safety, Clariel followed, only to be struck down in the creature's fire.

Adaar could see the void ripping open beneath them, a monster ready to devour.

So Rhea did the only thing could, she threw her left hand up and split a rift down the sky.

As green swallowed her, Bull, Varric, Blackwall, Stroud, and Hawke, she wondered what in void she had done.

~~

The dragon was gone, vanished from the sky and from the fight. The Warden warriors and rogues, those not possessed, took the revelations of the Venatori to heart and turned on the demons and the Ventatori themselves. 

There was no hope for the Warden mages. Corypheus still controlled their minds. Grimly, they were cut down or knocked unconscious by Inquisition forces, and their fellow Wardens. The remaining Wardens turned and helped the Inquisition forces fight back the tide of demons, working through the hours to clear the fortress of them.

In the aftermath, they surrendered themselves to the Inquisition forces.

Cullen, wary of what else might be lurking, put them under the watchful eye of trusted officers in the Inquisition ranks, and told them to keep alert, in case more demons attacked and had to be dealt with.

It was late, well past dinner, when he finally got the chance to ask where the Inquisitor was.

The fear and awe etched onto the scout's face who gave him the news sent his heart into his stomach.

The Inquisitor and her party had engaged the dragon, he was told, and then a rift had appeared in the sky, and as they'd fought the dragon, they had vanished.

"What do you mean, the Inquisitior has vanished?" Cullen demanded, feeling the icy grip of fear surround him.

"No one has been able to find the, Commander," the scout reported in a hushed tone. "Or anyone that was with her. Not Hawke or the Warden Stroud, or any of the Inquisition members with her. They simply vanished."

The flap of the command tent opened at that moment to admit Leliana, Cassandra, and Josephine. In the firelight beyond, Cullen could see the other members of the inner circle gathered. All wore expressions of concern and worry.

"It's true, Cullen," Cassandra told him in a taut voice. "I have been able to find no trace of them, nor have any of the others."

He steadied himself on the table, his fingers gripping the edge tightly, so tight his knuckles went white beneath his gloves.

Rhea was gone, vanished without a trace. He felt physically ill, and he could see a similar look on Josephine's face.

"The Inquisitor is missing," Cullen found himself saying as he forced himself upright. "But she is out there, somewhere, and she will return to us, she always does. We must keep watch for her."

"We need her, Josephine said in a hushed voice, "Without her..."

"No, Cullen is right!" Cassandra snapped. "The Inquisition is out there somewhere, and she will return to us. She must."

"I will set watches," Leliana declared firmly. "And we will smooth over things as best we can until she returns."

"Yes, you are right," Josephine straightened herself. "Leliana, with me please, we must keep morale up."

Cullen could hear whispering beyond the tent, other members of the inner circle trying to pick up on that silver of hope, as Josephine and Leliana left. The rest of the soldiers trickled out of the tent, leaving him alone with Cassandra.

Cullen lifted haunted eyes to Cassandra. "She must come back, Cassandra. Rhea must return to us."

Cassandra regarded him gravely. "Do you mean that as her Commander, her friend, or more, Cullen?" 

Cullen could not hold Cassandra's frank gaze for long and looked away, replying. "I don't know."

Cassandra crossed the distance between them and clasped his shoulder tightly. "She will come back. Rhea Adaar will settle for nothing less than returning to us and the Inquisition, and defeating Corypheus."

Cullen just wished he truly believed those words, for all that he would act like he did for everyone else.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Inquisitor and Hawke make it out of the Fade, but not without great cost. While Cullen is conflicted by his emotions and tries to comfort Adaar, she's filled with survivor's guilt and uncertainty. 
> 
> More Angst. More fluff and humor soon, I promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age belongs to Bioware

"One of us has to stay behind, to distract the demon."

Those words cut through Adaar like broken glass. The problem was, she knew that Hawke was right. The Nightmare was weakened, by the Spirit's sacrifice, by their fight against it, but not weak enough for them to pass it and get free of the Fade without engaging it once again, and their time in the Fade had taken its tole on all of them.

She heard Hawke and Stroud arguing over who should stay. She heard her own heartbeat beating a tattoo in her ears, the hissing of the Nightmare, the pulse of the Fade around them. Anguish rippled through her heart as she looked back and forth between Hawke and Stroud. They were looking at her now...everyone was looking at her, willing her to make a choice that none of them could. Another choice involving life or death, maybe the fate of Thedas, again.

Her eyes flickered to Hawke's green, and to Stroud's. When she met Stroud's gaze, he saw the regret in her expression, and the choice as well. He gave her a tight, understanding smile and saluted. 

It would kill some part of Varric to lose Hawke like this, and Hawke had a Dalish lover to return to. Stroud was a Warden, a Warden who would eventually hear the true Calling and travel to the Deep Roads. This might or might not be a better death for him, but it was definitely a more memorable one.

"It was good knowing you, Inquisitor, go save the world," Stroud told her, before he turned, locking eyes one last time with Hawke, before charging towards the demon, shield raised, sword drawn.

"Let's go!" Adaar shouted at her companions, pushing them towards the barrier and the rift out of the Fade, casting one last glance at Stroud before she followed them through. The expression on his face, the grim determination, would likely haunt her for the rest of her days. The rift sizzled around them as Hawke and Varric, then Bull and Blackwall, stepped out of the Fade. As Adaar's boots hit the stone floor of the fortress courtyard, the rift faded behind her with a snap, winking out like a fading star.

She found herself being stared at by both Wardens and Inquisition soldiers. Blackwall and Bull were eying the keep around them as if they didn't quite believe they'd made it out of the Fade alive, and Varric was speaking in hushed whispers to Hawke.

"Inquisitor!" Cassandra's voice, sounding so relieved, made Rhea shut her eyes against it for a moment. They were relieved she was back, but didn't they realize the cost?

"Where is Warden Stroud?" one of the Gray Wardens asked, confusion in his voice.

Adaar felt a flare of anger in her heart...none of this would have happened if the Clariel hadn't lead the Wardens into this mess, if they hadn't been so desperate. Feeling almost an edge of hysteria, she gripped that anger, trying to drown out the guilt she felt at Shroud's fate, at least for now.

"Warden Stroud died a hero, ensuring our escape from the Nightmare and the Fade," Adaar snapped. "Let everyone remember his sacrifice, and his loyalty."

The Wardens seemed taken aback, and she saw some of their expressions flicker with guilt and concern. Good. 

"But what do we do now?" one Warden asked again.

And everyone was looking at her, again, only this time it was more than just those who went with her into the Fade. Maker, would she never have time to make decisions after careful though? Must she always make such monumental decisions at a snap?

She heaved a shuttering breath. "You will help the Inquisition clean up this mess," she ordered.

She could see the mild disapproval on Cassandra's face, the outright outrage on Solas's. But Blackwall and Bull were nodding beside her. None but the four others in the Fade with her had known what all went down, and none of them looked willing to question her decision right now.

"Meanwhile I'll report to Weisshaupt," Hawke put in, nodding to Adaar.

"Not before you get a night's rest," Varric told his friend firmly.

Cullen had come through the crowd as she'd made these announcements and decisions. She realized he'd been there since she'd stepped out of the Fade, but she'd been too exhausted to notice. Exhausted: emotionally, mentally, and physically. OH Maker how it all hurt, not just the throbbing mark on her left palm.

Cassandra and Leliana were there, clearly wanting to ask more questions, but Rhea pushed through the crowd, not wanting to talk to anyone right now. When Cassandra tried to follow, Bull stopped them. Rhea overheard him saying, "Talk to Blackwall and I. Leave her alone right now."

Though he made no move to stop Cullen when the Commander turned and followed the Inquisitor.

She was moving more slowly than usual, exhausted as she was, and Cullen caught up in a mere few steps. Rhea was moving blindly forward, and she let him take her by the shoulder and direct her back towards their tent. When she stopped in front of the tent, staring at it, he moved around in front of her, looking up into her blue eyes.

"Adaar? Rhea?" he asked in a concerned tone.

"How long were we gone?" she asked.

Cullen had taken her hands, gripping them almost as if he was trying to tell himself she was really here. "Three days," he said at last.

It had seemed only hours, or maybe it had felt like days, in the Fade.

"Thank you for waiting," Rhea sighed. She felt so numb and she realized vaguely she was going into some sort of shock.

"Rhea!" his voice was sharp with concern. 

Cullen lead her back into the tent, helped her out of her armor, and checked her for wounds. She let him wipe the sweat and dirt from her face and mechanically took the camp rations he offered her. Finally, she let him help her lay down on the camp cot, and closed her eyes, letting the healing darkness of sleep take her.

~~  
The moment he'd seen Rhea walk out of the Fade for a second time, Cullen had wanted to pull her into his arms and never let her go. She was alive, she was here. After three days of worry and watching, those who had gone into the Fade, except for poor Stroud, were here and alive.

They all look like death warmed over, but Rhea more than anyone, and yet here the Wardens were, demanding answers and decisions. He knew they were decisions that needed to be made, but he, perhaps more than anyone, could see how wearing all of this was on Adaar. After she'd made her decision, she'd pushed through the crowd, and he recognized the signs of severe strain in her expression and her movements, and had followed. 

No one was going to question him following his wife to care for her, after all, even if the inner circle knew the marriage was a sham. Blackwall and Iron Bull were already redirecting Cassandra and Leliana's attention. Cullen would have to thank them for that later. He knew Varric had Hawke well in hand.

He'd made sure she'd gotten something to eat and drink and out of her armor before he let her collapse onto the camp cot in their tent, hoping sleep would help her. Something had happened in the Fade, he sensed, something to do with Stroud's death. That coupled with the battle and the sheer act of coming out of the Fade again was enough to break almost anyone.

There would be time for questions and explanations later. Right now he was just relieved she'd come back to them and she was alive. He was relieved he had this chance to care for her, and he worried over her now.

Ever since she'd walked out of the Fade the first time, so much pressure had been put on the Vashoth's broad shoulders. Cullen watched her some nights when he couldn't awaken her immediately from the nightmares, and wondered how she'd managed to hold herself so together for this long.

He was the Commander of the Inquisition forces, he was her friend, and as her friend, he made a mental note to watch her over the next few days, perhaps weeks. He'd seen the flash of guilt in her eyes, so like something he had once felt, surviving Kinloch Hold and then surviving the madness in Kirkwall. He'd felt guilt over the deaths he hadn't been able to prevent, and the ones he had caused, in his time as a Templar.

Once Rhea was asleep, he covered her with a light sheet and sighed, watching her for several moments before he heard Cassandra calling him outside the tent. 

Then he squared his shoulders and went to discuss this whole mess with the advisors, though not before posting a guard outside the tent door with an order to fetch him if the Inquisitor awoke.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adaar is dealing with guilt, Cullen is dealing with lyrium withdrawal, and they're worried about each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age belongs to Bioware

Adaar had been in a grim mood since the return from the Western Approach. The strain of the siege, physically entering the Fade again, the decision she'd made resulting in Stroud's certain death, it all wore on her. Breaking under the stress was not an option. To end the Elder One's (she refused to give him his proper name right now) plan and close the Breach for good, Adaar knew realistically she would likely continue to have to make difficult decisions and sacrifice good people for the cause.

The look on Stroud's face when he'd turned to face the Nightmare demon haunted her dreams, and her insomnia hadn't gotten any better since returning to Skyhold. On the rare nights that Cullen slept well, he'd awaken early and discover the Inquisitor sitting on the couch before the fire, staring at it, or out of the balcony, staring out into the cold mountains.

Cullen's sleep hadn't been much better than hers since the siege. He concealed it from his men, but she could see the pain the withdrawal symptoms caused him: the headaches, the aching muscles, the nightmares. He'd been doing a bit better with the nightmares before the siege, but they appeared to have come back in force though he'd never tell her what he saw in those night terrors.

Some nights he'd jolt awake with a cry, and she'd be standing on the balcony staring into the dark. She'd turned and come back into their room, shutting the doors against the cold night air, and make them both a cup of tea and just sit with him until one or both of them drifted back into an uneasy sleep.

The bags under her eyes looked like bruises, and Cullen worried about the strain on her as much as she worried over his withdrawal symptoms. 

Four nights after they returned to Skyhold, Cullen came awake with a jolt, blindly reaching for her beside him and finding empty bed. He sat up, and was unsurprised to find her standing on the balcony. This time, though, she wasn't staring at the mountains, but at her hand.

In the dim firelight, he could make out her wince of pain. He rubbed at his own forehead, feeling it throb, and moved slowly out of bed. Massaging his temple, he moved across the cold flagstones towards her. 

"Rhea?"

She turned to him, and instantly recognized the expression he had when a headache was getting worse. She closed her left hand. "Cullen. Sit down, I'll make some Elfroot tea."

"I'm not the only one in pain right now," he ground out softly. She'd been doing this since waking up after she stepped out of the Fade. Whenever he started asking her about the pain he saw etched on her face, she would redirect with her own concern for him.

She paused mid-step, and opened her hand, and he could see the green crackling around the mark.

Finally she sighed. "I will go and see Solas after you have tea."

The elf wouldn't like being awaken in the middle of the night, Cullen thought, if he was asleep, but if the Mark was bothering her, Cullen found he really didn't care. "You'd better," he said at last.

Rhea was silent as she boiled water and seeped the tea, then handed him the steaming ceramic mug. Cullen sighed as he sipped the tea, some of the fumes from the tea taking a slight edge of the headache, but not enough. 

He was sitting on the sofa before the fire, and Rhea sat tentatively beside him, her expression torn between concern and hesitation. He met her blue gaze with his amber one questioningly. 

"I might be able to help ease some of the headache," she said softly. "That is if you don't mind if...if I use magic on you."

The hesitation in her voice sounded nothing like the confident Inquisitor who sat on the throne making judgements, or who had addressed the Gray Wardens only days before. Rhea had never used magic on him, though he'd seen similar expressions on her face in the past, like she wanted to offer to help but was afraid of his reaction. Cullen was faced in that moment with just how much he trusted this woman. Mage, Vashoth, it didn't matter. He trusted her, with his life and with more, if he was willing to admit it to himself.

He nodded slowly. "If you think it will really help.." His head was throbbing, and he could almost taste the lyrium he knew would take the headache and the pain away, the craving for the thick silver liquid drifting into his mind.

Gently, Rhea pressed her right palm to his forehead. Cullen tensed for a moment and she felt her hand freeze, then he forced himself to relax against her touch. He felt the tingle of magic, then a slow, cooling relief spread through his forehead, his temples, easing the ache in his neck, like a cool compress. She pulled her hand away after several moments and looked at him cautiously.

Cullen turned his head slowly towards her, feeling just the slightest twinge of pain, more a dull ache than the throbbing and hammering he'd felt only minutes before. He sagged against the couch, feeling relief. He could live with the dull ache, he might even be able to sleep with it. So many months of pain, banished with the cool touch of his wif-with Rhea's magic. 

"It will probably only last for a few hours, but when it comes back, hopefully it will be lessened," she told him. "Solas developed the technique and taught me."

"I feel better than I have in days," Cullen admitted. His gaze fell to her left hand, and he lifted it back to her. "Speaking of the elf.."

Rhea grimaced, but she rose and found a tunic that she threw on over her sleeping shirt, and stuffed her feet into her boots. "I'll go see him about the Mark," she groused.

Cullen grabbed a nearby shirt from the floor and pulled on his own boots. "I'm going with you. Not-" he added, "Because I don't believe you, but because we need to know what is going on." He emphasized the "we." He was rewarded with a small smile, the first he'd seen in days from her.

Some hours later they slumped against each other on the sofa, watching the sun rise over the mountains. The flares from the Mark, Solas had explained, were a result of Rhea returning to the Fade and then returning to their world, again. The elf had scolded her gently for not coming to him sooner, and had placed a number of wards on it that he advised he would want to check with some regularity. Once the Elder One was dealt with, and the sky fully healed with his death, Solas believed the Mark would calm down again.

Rhea watched the sunlight creeping across the balcony with sandy eyes. Today would be a long day. She was due to judge the Magister that had lead the Gray Wardens astray, and then would likely be on the road again within the next few days. She'd turned over Livius Erimond's fate in her mind several times since returning the Skyhold, often remembering Stroud, and her anger at Erimond and the Wardens as she did.

"What else is bothering you, Rhea?" Cullen asked, drawing her attention to the present. She glanced at him, seeing the concern written on his expression. "Something, not just the Mark, has been eating at you for days."

Everyone but Bull and Dorian had given her a wide berth since returning to Skyhold because of her mood. Dorian and Bull had been trying to get her to talk about it for days. But where she'd closed her ears to their words, she couldn't to Cullen's. 

"In the Fade...we had to leave Stroud behind. I signed his death warrant, Cullen. I left him to face the Nightmare."

"That isn't your fault," Cullen said firmly, and held his hand up when she started to protest. "You didn't corrupt the Gray Wardens, you didn't kill the Divine, you didn't practice blood magic. And from what Varric, Bull, and Blackwall have said, the six of you would have been dead if you hadn't opened that Rift to begin with, either broken under rubble or killed by the dragon. Bull told me that Stroud knew exactly what he was doing, what he was _choosing_ to do, Rhea." He leaned forward, cupping her face in his hands, and pressing his forehead to hers. "You did the only thing you could do, Rhea darling. You did what no one else could have done."

Finally, Rhea gave a shuttering sigh, that turned into a sob. Cullen wrapped her arms around him, and let her rest her head on his shoulder, holding her as she finally let herself cry.

And as he held her, Cullen knew he was falling in love with her, and he had no idea what to do about it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhea helps Cullen with nightmares and the Inquisition prepares for the Arbor Wilds. Rhea finds herself discussing her feelings with two friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age belongs to Bioware

Rhea awoken to a rush of cool air against her skin. At some point she'd kicked the blankets off, and she could see that the balcony door was open. A half moon hung in the sky, illuminating the form of her Commander against the dark of night.

She rolled out of bed and grabbed up the soft velvet robe that Josephine had insisted was a more appropriate dressing gown for the Inquisitor. Throwing it on but still barefoot, she padded out to the balcony to stand beside Cullen. They stood in silence for several moments while his eyes stared at the distant mountains. Somewhere in the night they heard the hooting of an owl.

"Nightmare?" She asked at last, looking at him from the corner of her eye, but keeping her face turned towards the view. She knew he often felt self conscious about his nightmares.

"The usual," he replied, leaning forward on the balcony. She could see despite the cool night that his hair was curled with sweat, free of the normal style he kept it trained in. She could see the tension in his shoulders and the line of his back.

"Want a massage?" she suggested. Occasionally he'd let her rub some of the tension from his shoulders. She remembered when he'd done the same for her, after they'd returned from dealing with the Gray Wardens, and the weeks she'd wrestled with her self loathing and guilt.

Cullen glanced up at her, and she saw a myriad of emotions she couldn't identify flicker over his face before he finally nodded. "I would...appreciate that."

She gave him a slight smile. "You only have to ask, Cullen. I am here for you."

As he'd been there for her. They spent much of their free time together, these days. At first, after the Winter Palace, it had been a part of the image of them being married. But they were friends anyway, and more and more she found herself enjoying his company, and he seemed to enjoy hers. She enjoyed his company more than she should, probably. Sometimes she found herself pretending that this marriage was real, and that he was really hers. He never really would be hers, and after they destroyed the Elder One, they'd need to find some way to end this whole charade.

Though personally she thought it wouldn't be necessary. She didn't expect to survive the final battle, not that she ever voiced that thought aloud, to anyone.

Rhea followed Cullen back towards the bed and directed him to lie on his stomach, fetching body oil from a box near the bed. Slowly, she began to work the knots out of his shoulders and back, and was rewarded with his soft moan of relief as she did so. He relaxed against her hands after several minutes. She could sense his exhaustion and continued, watching him carefully as he sighed against her touch. Eventually his breathing evened and she knew he'd fallen asleep.

She smiled and put the oils up before covering him and returning to her side of the bed. "Goodnight Lionheart," she said softly.

~~

Cullen set the Inquisition banner marker carefully atop the Arbor Wilds, glancing momentarily across the table at where the Inquisitor and the Witch stood. He still didn't entirely trust Morrigan's motives, but he did trust her to keep her word to help them. He'd seen her in Kilnoch, and while he preferred not to think on those memories, he did have to admit she'd helped the Warden deal with Ulrich and the demons there.

"The Inquisition troops can be ready to march in two days," he reported, his eyes glancing around the table. "Leliana, your scouts are establishing a base camp, correct?"

Leliana nodded. "They are. Harding and the scouts are already in the Wilds. Base camp will be ready when the Inquisitor and Inquisition troops arrive."

"The Empress is also sending troops to assist," Josephine added, glancing for a moment at her board. "We will want to ensure certain scouts deal as go betweens, I believe, to sooth the nobles concerns."

"I've already dealt with that, Josephine," Leliana ensured her friend and their diplomat. "I have just the people in place, and they're rank enough that no one should be slighted."

"Just so long as I do not have to deal with them," Cassandra muttered from where she stood beside Rhea.

"I wish I had that luxury," Rhea murmured to Cassandra then turned towards Morrigan. "Will you ride with me, I assume?"

The Witch of the Wilds nodded, her expression haughty and so regal that Rhea knew that Morrigan could handle the best and worst of nobles. Then again, she had been the Empress's personal advisor, so that was no surprise.

"Everyone best prepare for a march then. We'll need the bulk of our forces and Inner Circle there," Rhea said. "If there is nothing else?"

"Not for the moment," Leliana replied.

"I'll see you later, Adaar," Cullen told her. "I've a route to plan."

"Of course, Cullen," Rhea nodded gracefully. 

She turned and left her advisors to discuss things, watching Morrigan go her own way towards that mirror probably, thinking that she really didn't want to be on the road again so soon after returning from the Emerald Graves, but she had no choice. Honestly she felt there were some things she'd had no choice in since she woke up with the Mark on her hand. If Andraste had really chosen her (which she doubted after the Fade), then the Maker and Andraste had a very twisted sense of humor.

Her struggle with her feelings for a certain Commander seemed almost minor compared to the stress that came with being Inquisitor. Some part of her desperately wanted to tell him how she felt, the other part of her feared his rejection and what his reaction would be, particularly since she didn't expect to survive all of this.

And if he did accept her advances, it wouldn't be fair to him, because Cullen had already lost so much.

She needed something to clear her mind, maybe a spar with Bull...her steps carried her towards the tavern, but when she got their Bull wasn't in his usual spot. Krem gave her an amused look. "He's with the Mage," the mercenary told her with a grin. 

She debated leaving them alone, only knowing what Bull and Dorian might be doing, but somehow her footsteps carried her towards Bull's quarters anyway and she knocked on the door.

She was surprised to see Dorian actually answer it, fully clothed. He took one look at her and ushered her inside, placing a glass in her hand and Bull pushed her into a chair.

"Something is clearly bothering you if you bothered to see either of us out," Dorian told her mildly as she mechanically took a sip of the wine. "And Bull or I are usually the ones you see out if you need to talk, so.."

"Tell us what's going on, Boss," Bull put in. "And don't bother lying. I'll wager it's something to do with the Commander, isn't it?"

Damn Bull's Ben Hasrith' training, she thought. Her shoulders slumped. "I want it to be real," she said quietly.

Dorian and Bull exchanged a look. The relationship between those two was so strange Rhea would never even begin to try and figure it out, but somehow they worked very well in sink, both on and off the field.

"So you've finally admitted it, at least to yourself?" Dorian asked. "That you love him that is."

Rhea blanched. "Is it that obvious."

"To everyone but you and Cullen perhaps," Bull replied amiably. "We see the way he watches you when he thinks no one is looking. We see the way you watch him. Even Cassandra is aware of it."

"Shit," Rhea muttered. She put her face in her hands. "I want to tell him but I am rather afraid of what his reaction might be."

"What do you have to lose?" Bull asked. 

"Mm, my dearest is right," Dorian acknowledged. "It is obvious how he feels about you, Rhea dear. You should tell him."

"He's already lost so much though," Rhea said in despair. "To tell him, and then to go and die at the end of all of this? It wouldn't be fair to him."

"What's this?" Dorian demanded.

Rhea laughed bitterly. "Come on, Dorian, do you really think I'm going to survive all of this? Solas has had to put more wards on the Mark and he told me if the Elder One isn't dealt with and the artifact recovered, it will kill me, eventually. Plus an ancient Dark Spawn? Oh I'm sure I'll survive all that."

"Stop!" Bull's voice cut across her awareness sharply. "No, Boss. You'll survive this. You've come to far not to."

She smiled weakly at him as Dorian put an arm around her shoulders. These two were her best friends, but she couldn't believe their insistence that she would survive. 

Eventually she dropped the subject, but she was aware of Bull and Dorian, watching her the rest of the afternoon.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the Arbor Wilds, and all the revelations therein, behind them, the Inquisition must prepare for a final confrontation. While waiting for her advisors and forces to return to Skyhold, Rhea gets advise from an unexpected party
> 
> (because your advisors making it back before you when you went through a magic mirror makes no sense)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age belongs to Bioware.

Adaar's head ached as she and Morrigan fell through the Eluivan, followed quickly by Solas, Cassandra, and Varric.

The Vashoth mage shot a glance towards the Witch of the Wilds, noting the very curious emotions playing over Morrigan's expression. Drinking from the Well of Mythal had done something to the other woman, and what all it entailed, Adaar wasn't sure, and she wasn't sure she wanted to.

The important thing was that they had additional information needed to defeat Corypheus, and they'd beaten him to the Well.

"Better you than me to be hearing voices in your head," Adaar murmured to Morrigan as they exited the room where Morrigan had stored her Eluvian.

Morrigan arched an elegant black brow and gave the Inquisitor an enigmatic smile. The woman tried very hard to be dark and mysterious, Adaar thought. She succeeded with most people.

"In the end, the knowledge I gained aids both of us. A fair trade, I would say?" Morrigan suggested.

"Yeah," Adaar responded. "You didn't see me fighting you at the Well over it.

Some of her companions hadn't approved, but Adaar had enough problems with the Mark on her left hand. She didn't need to add the knowledge of a weird elven well in her head to that. What concerned her a bit more now was the fact that her Advisors and her army were still in the Arbor Wilds, after she and her companions had gotten trapped in the temple.

She glanced at the ravens flying above the garden courtyard and guessed word would be to Leliana within the next day or two. She knew her advisors, they would travel with the Inner Circle back to Skyhold, leaving most of her forces under Rylan's command, so that they could plan their next attack against Corypheus.

In the meantime, it meant Morrigan had a few days to acclimate to her new knowledge, and gave her current crew some much needed rest before they went charging into battle again. If there were decisions that absolutely had to be made in her advisors' absence, well she was Inquisitor, and she could lean a bit on Varric and Cassandra if she needed advice.

"Everyone take a day to rest," she ordered Cassandra, Solas, and Varric. "I want to meet with the three of you tomorrow evening to discuss what we've learned. You all saw what happened in the Temple, my advisors didn't. I want to pool our information to ensure I present them with an accurate picture of what happened.

Varric and Cassandra merely nodded wearily. Solas looked both cautious and intrigued. He was one of those who hadn't wanted her to drink from the Well. She wanted to talk to him about that. She was becoming suspicious that Morrigan wasn't entirely as sure what she'd signed up for as she thought she was.

Adaar moved through the great hall and towards her quarters, catching one of the servants and requesting a bath in her quarters, then forced herself up the stairs. She still questioned the necessity of having a room that required her climbing so many stairs, but every argument she'd had with Josephine just ended up with her tossing her hands in the air.

Rhea divested herself of her armor and stripped down to just her shirt and trews while she waited for the bath to be filled. She lit a fire in the fireplace, since Skyhold had no warning of her arrival one hadn't been started yet, and dropped onto the couch, thinking that her rooms seemed a bit empty, knowing that Cullen wouldn't be in bed with her tonight. She took comfort in his presence when she was at Skyhold, and she didn't like the idea of sleeping alone in the big bed. Maybe she'd just sleep on the sofa tonight..

Once she was clean and dressed, she went downstairs to seek out her companions, feeling broody. Skyhold felt empty with most of their forces, her inner circle, and her advisors absent. She thought perhaps she'd catch Cassandra and Varric and eat dinner with them, but neither were in their normal haunts. Solas found her wandering the battlements after searching for about an hour and considered her with some amusement. 

"Adaar," he greeted her. "You seem restless."

"There's no one here," she replied as she paused, staring out towards the mountains. "And I can't find Cassandra or Varric anywhere."

"I believe that the Seeker and our storyteller are taking advantage of the lack of people to spend some time together," Solas told her. He was smirking as he spoke.

Adaar stared at him. "You are shitting me."

"I assure you that I am not, as you say, shitting you," Solas replied. There were times his attitudes towards everyone made Adaar wonder just how told he was. "Have you not seen the way they look at each other when they think the other is not watching?"

"Yeah I've seen it," she replied. "I just figured they'd never do anything about it unless someone pushed them."

"Mm, yes, I do believe Leliana told Varric he needed to do something or stop being so obvious before the campaign in the Arbor Wilds," Solas said. "In the same vein, I believe you could use the same advise."

She didn't feel any surprise that he'd noticed. She heaved a sigh and leaned on the battlement. "Don't know how good an idea that would be. And since when do you care anyway?"

"Your dreams, and the Commanders, rather color a great deal of the Fade around here," Solas explained. "It interferes a bit with my exploration here."

"You're telling me to tell Cullen how I feel because our dreams are screwing with your Fade research?" Rhea didn't know if she could feel more weird about talking to Solas about this or not.

"Precisely," Solas replied, like a teacher praising a prized student.

"If we started doing things and dreaming about it, wouldn't that make it worse?" Rhea asked, trying to find a way out of this.

"When reality matches dreams, there is less interference than when one is dreaming one's deepest desires of what one cannot or does not have," Solas explained. "It really would just be easier on everyone if you two were open about your emotions. I've watched this sort of thing play out a thousand times. You have a great burden to bare, Adaar, do make it harder on yourself than you must."

Then Solas was gone, leaving her with her whirling thoughts.

"Is bloody everyone going to give me relationship advise?" she swore as she stalked along the battlements.

~~


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Advisors and Inner Circle return to Skyhold, and Adaar is finally forced to confront her feelings for Cullen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age belongs to Bioware

Rhea stared down at the parchment before her, quill held poised in her hand above the paper. Cullen's name was written in her smooth script at the top of the paper, followed by several lines of emotion, and the occasional tear stain.

_Cullen_

_If you're reading this, then we've won and I'm gone. I never really expected to survive all of this anyway, but I die willingly, knowing the world is safer for the Elder One's destruction._

_The Inquisition has been a whirlwind for me, to go from accused murderer to Herald to leader of our band of misfits. But I would not have accompanied anything without any of you. Your knowledge and guidance, particularly, in battle and your understanding has been a rock for me in very uncertain times._

_I do not regret a moment of our friendship, or any of the time I was able to share with you. You're strong, Cullen, stronger than you know, and you'll be a beacon in the future to former Templars and your friends alike. I just wish I'd gotten to live to see all you accomplish in the aftermath._

_It has been an honor, Commander. I wish you all the best, and may you walk in the Maker's light._

_l-_

Here she had crossed out the word "Love" three times. There was so much more she wanted to say in this final letter to Cullen, but she didn't want to tell him how she felt in a letter, and not be there to see how it affected him, and if, by some wild chance, he shared her affection. No, it would be entirely unfair to him to reveal that truth.

She dropped the quill and scrubbed at her face with her hands. Letters to everyone else had been completed and sealed with wax. When a moment came, she would deliver them to Leliana with instructions for them to be passed out should she not survive. Leliana would understand, and would keep her confidence.

Adaar blinked as she heard a knock at her door, and then a moment later it pushed open, revealing one of the few Inquisition soldiers still left at Skyhold. "Inquisitor, you asked to be informed when the Advisors and Inner Circle returned? They've arrived with some of our forces. The rest are expected within the next few weeks."

"Thank you, Dalen," she told the scout, and they nodded and slipped from her room.

Adaar rolled her shoulders to relieve some of the tension there and rose to her feet. She turned the paper on her desk over, to be tossed in a drawer with the rest later, and returned the cap to her ink well before heading down the stairs and through the mainhall to the courtyard.

She felt relief as she watched Bull and Dorian ride in, followed by Cullen, Leliana, Josephine, and the rest of her circle, and a small number of their troops. She hurried down the steps, seeing that Cassandra was heading towards them as well, and Solas and Varric were on Adaar's heels. She saw smiles and some relief on her companions faces as she touched the grass of the courtyard: a knowing smile from Leliana and Bull, a bright smile from Josephine, grins from Thom Ranier and Sera, pleasure in Dorian's expression, the polite nod from Vivienne, and finally, the relieved smile on Cullen's features.

The next several minutes where a whirl of embraces, handshakes, and a babble of words, her welcoming everyone back, and everyone trying to talk to her at once. She was spun about the courtyard as Leliana informed her they'd been concerned until they'd gotten the raven telling them of her trip through the mirror. 

Then she found herself in front of Cullen, and saw the naked relief and happiness to see her again in his amber eyes. It made her heart beat a bit faster, and her thoughts from earlier, about how much she loved him, and that she couldn't tell him, rose in her mind.

"Try not to ever do that again," Cullen told her, pulling her firmly into his embrace, despite their size difference, and she felt the warmth of his head pressed against her chest and shoulder, and her arms came up around him to hold him close to her. For a few minutes she let herself pretend this was real, and savored the feeling of Cullen in her arms, pressed against her.

"I'm just glad you're home," Rhea told him honestly.

There was some minor business they had to attend to, but once everyone started splitting off in their seperate directions, Rhea tugged him towards the main hall, and then towards the stairs. "Go up," she told him. "I know you're wearing and will be wanting a hot bath after all that travel. I'll go get someone to get the bath ready for you."

He gave her a grateful smile and leaned up to kiss her cheek. "I'll bath and then we catch up," he told her. "I want to know just how you got back so quickly. You worried us when you didn't emerge from the temple, though we could tell something had happened. I...it wasn't quite as bad as Adament, but.."

Rhea felt chagrined and squeezed his hand. "I'm sorry, Cullen, I never meant to worry you like that again."

He smiled warmly. "Well, I know you're alive now."

She squeezed his hand again before they parted ways, him to head up to their rooms and her to fetch a bath for him.

~~

Cullen was as relieved to see Rhea when they'd rode into the Skyhold courtyard as when she'd stepped out of the Rift at Adament, though this time he'd know she was alive and well. But seeing her standing in the courtyard as they rode in..

He'd spent a great deal of time dwelling on his emotions for her on the journey back to Skyhold. Dorian had taken him aside one night and told him rather bluntly that he'd best never hurt Rhea Adaar, or he would make good on some obscure threat that Cullen wasn't even sure was anatomically possible. Bull had been sitting very close by, sharpening his axe the whole time, and Cullen felt vaguely like he was being given a talk by the family of a girl he was courting.

"You are very much transparent when it comes to the Inquiistor," Dorian told him. "And as I care very much for my sister-mage, I do not want to see her unhappy, in any way."

Cullen had flushed and rubbed at the back of his neck. "I-I respect Rhea, very much. I care for her, yes. But with everything that has happened, and all the pressure she is under, it seems wrong to give her one more thing to worry about."

Bull snorted at that and gave Cullen a long look. "I think you may be surprised if you tell the Boss how you feel. In fact, I think you'd better do so."

When Cullen had embraced her in the courtyard, he'd very much been tempted to kiss her, there in front of everyone, but it seemed kinder to both of them to wait and reveal his love for her when they were alone. He just hoped very much that she returned his feelings.

He reached their quarters and opened the door, smiling faintly at the mess on Adaar's desk, the blanket and pillow on the couch showing she hadn't been sleeping in their bed while he was gone, and the tea cup and pot sitting on a table near the fire and couch. He began to remove his armor as he moved into the room, frowning a moment as he noted the wadded up balls of parchment on her desk. Rhea typically never left paper out like that, she always tossed it into the fire, or saved the pages carefully. He leaned down to pick up a wad of parchment and something caught his attention on the desk,

A light breeze blowing through an open door to the balcony was lifting a piece of paper off her desk and sent it spinning lightly into the air. He caught it with one hand, then noticed his name carefully written out at the top.

His eyes ran over the words several times, and he felt a light tremble in his hand as he set the paper back on the desk.

The door opened, admitting a servant who went through the process of preparing a bath. Cullen began removing his armor as he watched them, his mind spinning over that last word written on the paper and scratched out so many times.

The letter tore at his heart and he felt fear for Rhea rising in him.

He could not lose her, he could not, not now, when he knew how he felt, and when he knew how she felt, though they'd never spoken it aloud.

Rhea returned as the servant department, carrying a plate of sandwiches and fruit from the kitchens. She set the plate on the table with her tea and turned to look at him, then froze at the look on Cullen's face.

He was stripped down to his trews, and she saw the myriad of scars written over his body. She'd seen this sight dozens of times over their months as a 'married couple' but somehow it suddenly felt different, particularly with the intensity of the emotion in his eyes, an emotion she could not quite read.

Cullen drew a ragged breath then crossed the distance between them and caught her in his arms. "Rhea, dearest, darling Rhea. I cannot lose you, not now. I will not lose you to the Elder One. You will survive that battle, you must."

She felt him shaking with emotion, and with some fear as he held her tightly to him. His words rang in her head, and she let out a sound that was half sob, half laughter. "Maker. Cullen, I want to survive, I want desperately to. I want to come back to you, but I don't know if I will."

"No," Cullen told her fiercely, his eyes glowing, and she could see very much in this moment why they called him the Lion of Skyhold. "You will survive, the Maker will watch over you, and you will come back to me." He lifted his fingers gently and touched her cheek. "My love."

Rhea froze for a mere moment at those words, and then she was pulling him closer to her, impossibly closer, walking backwards and pulling him with her towards the couch. The backs of her knees hit the cushion and she fell back against it, pulling Cullen bodily on top of her. She lifted her lips to his, kissing him in a frenzy, pulling him tightly down onto her.

"Cullen, Cullen, I love you," she breathed out the words between kisses as he returned her embrace and her kisses just as fiercely, his fingers pulling on the fastenings of her buns, tangling his fingers in her lovely red hair. He felt her body hot against his own, tugging her shirt free from her pants and up and over her head, until he felt her chest pressed against his own through her breast band.

"I love you too," he almost growled the words, diving in for yet another kiss, his teeth catching her lower lip and causing her breath to hitch as she held his body firmly against hers.

"I'm yours, Cullen, always," she hissed as she felt heat blossoming through her body and his pressed against her own.

"And I'm yours, my dragon," he told her. 

"My Lionheart," she whispered, running her fingers through his golden curls. 

"Do you want more than this?" he asked, trying to keep his hips from thrusting against her own as they shifted against one another.

She saw the heat in his amber eyes, and he saw the answering flame in her blue.

As they pressed against one another again and he captured her lips with his own, Rhea thought briefly that she was glad she'd told the other she wouldn't be available again until morning.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Corypheus is dead, the battle one, and now Rhea and Cullen find themselves looking towards the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon Age belongs to Bioware.
> 
> Thank you so much to all those who have left kudos and comments! I'll probably do a few more fics with these two in future, particularly Trespasser and post-Trespasser.

Rhea cast a glance back over her shoulder where Solas had knelt with the orb moments before and saw no one there. Her lips thinned, suspecting that the elf had already fled with that cursed orb. She still had unanswered questions, like how Corypheus had gotten a hold of the damned thing to begin with, but those questions would have to wait.

Her friends, and the Inquisition, was waiting for her.

She saw the relief and smiles on the faces of her Inner Circle as she climbed down the stairs. Dorian and Bull both looked pleased with her. Varric was smirking like he was already debating how to put this into a book. Sera and Thom were grinning at her, the relief of a battle one, and the rush of victory heady in their minds. Vivienne nodded regally towards her, not a stitch out of place on her dress. Cassandra looked proud, and when the warrior reached out and offered her arm to Adaar, the Vashoth mage clasped it firmly.

"We've won," she told them, her eyes drifting towards the sky. Blue was replacing green, leaving only a green ribbon, a scar, in the sky, where the Breach once hung, spitting demons and nightmares upon Thedas.

"Why don't we head back to Skyhold?" Bull suggested. "I'll bet our ambassador already has a victory party planned." He slapped Rhea firmly on her back. "Honor our hero and all."

Rhea snorted, glancing sidelong at her friends. "I couldn't have done this with out any of you," she told them firmly. She met Cassandra's brown gaze and smiled. Who would have thought she'd become good friends with a woman who'd once threatened her life?

"It's been an honor," Cassandra replied.

"Let us get back to Skyhold proper though," Vivienne spoke up. "Bull is correct that Ambassador Montilyet no doubt has a celebration planned, and you my dear, are a bit singed. You should have a chance to clean up first."

Laughing, Rhea turned and lead her companions away from the ruins of the Temple of Sacred Ashes, and towards home.

~~

The green scar in the sky told those at Skyhold before anything else that the Inquisition had been successful and that Corypheus was defeated. Cullen didn't relax, however, until he saw the Inquisitor walk back through the gates of Skyhold herself, Varric on one side and Cassandra on her other. Rhea's gaze searched the cheering throng until they met Cullen's amber eyes, and a grin flickered over her lips.

Rhea paused long enough to say something to those following her before she mounted the stairs towards where her Advisors waited her, and as one, Cullen, Leliana, and Josephine bowed to their Inquisitor.

Then Cullen did what he'd been wanting to do since she'd walked through the gate. He swept her into his arms and leaned up as Adaar leaned down, brushing his lips against her own. Cullen felt her arms tighten around him and savored the feeling of knowing she was alive and with him once again.

Somewhat reluctantly, Rhea pulled back to look at the cheering crowd. 

They'd done this, the Inquisition, together, she thought as she addressed them. It was a victory for all of them.

Josephine promised the celebration wouldn't be until tomorrow, to give everyone a chance to recover and rest. It took longer than Cullen would have liked to get Adaar away and back to their rooms, but everyone wanted to talk to her. When he saw her interacting with their people, he smiled. Rhea had such a heart, he thought, and cared for all of the Inquisition's people. 

When he saw some of the children of Skyhold swarm her, he watched as she crouched on the ground and addressed each child, letting them scramble over her like a hobby horse even as their parents protested for their children to be careful. Adaar laughed and assured their parents it was alright. Things like that reinforced that she was a person, not just a symbol, Cullen thought.

It also made him wonder what sort of mother she might be like.

That thought stayed lodged in his mind as he followed her upstairs and back to their rooms, helping her out of her armor when her stiff muscles protested the movement, and into a tub full of hot water. 

"I've sent you into danger a thousand times," Cullen told her as he helped her wash her hair, stripped down to his trews to keep his armor from getting wet. "And felt relief every time you came back safe. But I don't think I've ever been as relieved as I was today when I saw you walk through the gate."

Adaar smiled at him, angling her head back so that she could kiss him. "I love you too, Cullen."

He smiled softly at her and handed her a drying cloth as she stood. It was still late afternoon, and Cullen had no doubt that everyone in the Inner Circle would want an informal celebration before the grand feast that Josephine had prepared for tomorrow. For a few hours, though, he wanted to keep Rhea to himself. 

She kept the cloth wrapped around her and moved towards their bed, tossing herself onto the soft mattress and groaning lightly, rolling her back. Cullen chuckled as he recognized the gesture and wordlessly fetched a vial of oil. Shifting the drying clothing, he began the slow process of massaging her back and shoulders, working down her spine to help relieve the stress and soreness in her muscles. He couldn't help but think how lucky he was, that she was here with him, in his bed, and he in hers. He leaned forward and kissed the back of her neck lightly.

"I love you too Rhea," he replied.

She sighed as he finished the massage, peering up at him through half lidded eyes as he put the oil away. He could tell she was tired, but she didn't want to sleep yet, he climbed into the bed beside her, pulling the blankets around them, and held her body against his own. 

Rhea sighed contently into his hair as they rested together, merely luxuriating in each other's company. "So where do we go from here?" she asked softly against his ear.

"There's still work for the Inquisition," Cullen mused. "I don't think it will be going away any time soon. Which means more work for you, and for me."

"I meant you and I, silly," Rhea said lightly, pulling her head back a moment to look at him. She lifted a red eyebrow at him.

"Stay together?" Cullen asked, hazarding a moment. After the months they'd spent together, knowing she loved him, and he loved her, he certainly didn't want to let her go any time soon. "Everyone still thinks we're married."

She grinned at that. "Personally, I don't feel like disabusing them of that notion. I like them thinking you are mine." She ran a hang along his spine and he shivered.

Cullen regarded her speculatively as she shifted against him. "As long as that means you are mine as well," he replied.

"I'm good with that," Rhea shifted her head to nuzzle his neck. "Marriage, family, not something I thought I'd get when all this started. Granted we can't have kids but-" She paused, and Cullen saw her flush.

He laughed and pulled her lips up to meet his. "We can always adopt," he replied. "But right now, I say we should reaffirm our commitment to each other, hmm?"

She answered him with a soft growl and rolled him onto his back.

Cullen didn't resist at all.


End file.
